What to do with the drunken sailors

Below Bertie’s private squall, an eerie hush prevailed. Her presence had turned the band of fearsome hearties into a rabble of fearful land-lubbers. The only sound below deck was that of the crew checking their contracts – having signed up for high-jinx on the high seas, the prospect of confining themselves to quarters was understandably unappealing.

We were minutes from mutiny.

Fortunately, pirates are a simple bunch and easily distracted – the mind of the rank and file brigand contains little beyond shanties, pieces of eight, and wondering where the next weevil is coming from.

Thus, for the yang to offset Bertie’s yin, it was necessary to find some bawdy amusement. After the manner of the royal court, this would historically have taken the form of the ship’s fool. Political correctness has since proscribed such demeaning nomenclature, and we ended up with a light entertainer: Jolly Roger.

By the close of the night he had furnished everyone with balloon animals and treated us all to his full repertoire of guild-approved jokes. For the ladies there was a special treat in store – a whole hour of Brian May impressions, sporting naught but a pair of Speedos and an air guitar.


The Jolly Roger
Jester-in-Chief
Likes: barnacles
Dislikes: icicles