A change of tack

Christmas in Yorkshire was to yield little more than a mixed-nut selection, which I was under strict orders to keep out of Mad-eye’s line of sight, “on account of almonds sending him crazy.” I locked them away with my private stash of booty, just in case our next business needs analysis called for a nut-fuelled berserker in the forecastle.

For now then, this festering berg had exhausted its potential, and so we left for pastures more genteel. I knew a governess at Althorp whose nefarious cv would serve as an excellent foundation for attending to the professional development of our burgeoning crew.

No common pirate she – Nat O’Nine Tails had been among the landed gentry since she could first wield a chimney brush. Haughty, proud and chic, she was every bit the lady pirate of popular lore.

Many a cur had she licked into shape and helped to fulfil their potential. Thanks to her careful instruction, the courts of Europe were bustling with princes she had indoctrinated in wrongdoing at sea and misuse use of tax havens, while the Palace of Westminster was full of politicians who could now operate cutlery.


Senior Vice President, Knowledge Management
Nat O'Nine Tails
Likes: pieces of eight
Dislikes: After Eights