West End Girls

Oh, London Town's a fine town, and London sights are rare, and London’s scum is busy scum, and festers everywhere.

For the truly wicked, of course, there’s no peace, and while the mates indulged themselves with golf sales and penny operettas, it was business as usual for Captain Yours Truly – after all, bands of merrie mariners don’t just grow themselves.

But London crooks are cunning crooks with gallant plans to hatch, and bonnily clink your pockets there, with all that gold to snatch.

Indeed, with such rich pickings on dry land, would these vice-mongers even consider a life on the ocean waves?

Busily goes the London world, and craftily grows the mind, and at every turn in London Town, vile brigands one will find.

But chance favours the prepared: using elementary physics can improve the odds of locating likely seadogs yet further, for as mass dictates gravitational pull, so buccanerial clustering depends on booty magnitude.

For London’s swag is rare swag, and property of our Queen, and London’s plunder is out on show and waiting to be seen.

Ah yes, where greater a loot-yard than the British Museum, and who better to start with than Ronnie Kray (Mrs; no relation)?

Qualified Member of the Engine Department

Ronnie Kray
Likes: hanging, drawing and quartering
Dislikes: Magic FM