The gentleman (boat) outfitter

Within half an hour of bootcamp, the rabble had shaved their heads, donned their all-white gym kits, and were ‘yes’, ‘please’ and ‘thank-you marm’-ing like a pack of pampered poodles - that is, the sort that talk and dress in sportswear - anything to avoid upsetting the precarious temper of their sadistic instructor, who at this point was yet to break a sweat.

So far so good - the human resources would be shipshape and Bristol fashion - but what about the hardware? Given that our compass came from a Kinder Egg, I was not convinced that a life at sea would be excessively generous in length. Consulting my Yellow Pages I thus found my solution in a man as honest as the day is long - that day being the Alaskan winter solstice.

Having sufficiently procrastinated round the gentle shores of Albion, however, I was in a vein to throw caution to the wind. It was time for climes more briny. I let him take me for my ducats, taking him captive in return; the brig would make an ideal server room and, thanks to my boundless generosity, he would be free to move wherever he liked therein.

VP, Solutions
Honest John Silver
Likes: misadventure
Dislikes: Miss Selfridge